I don’t want this to be like “am I the asshole” but I have this group of friends who I love very dearly. We try to hang out together as much as we can, but due to our daily lives it’s hard to arrange our schedules to do so.
One of my friends from that group (let’s call her “A”) is one of my best friends. Now, I have a different type of friendship with each one of the girls of the group, but A and I are the most similar when it comes to taste and hobbies.
We met 4 yrs ago, and at the beginning of the friendship, we were inseparable. We hung out and talked about everything and anything and had so much fun. We got to become real close. Lately though, she won’t talk to me, and when I try and talk to her, she is always too “depressed” to even answer my texts. It takes her 1 ~ 2 weeks to answer mere texts.
I try to be understanding because I know what that feels like, I also suffer from depression. So I give her her time but I end up feeling lonely. She then will have a spurt where she’ll go back to talking to me but every time she asks me how I’m doing, and I try to be honest, I’m always met with “same” and her making my state of mind and feelings to be about her.
So now I just lie and say I’m doing well. Even when we do end up hanging out, all she talks about is herself and her problems.
So I tried to give it a break and veer to my other friends. One of them who I considered my other really good friend, ditched everyone in the group for her brand new boyfriend who she has been manifesting for her whole life. Won’t even speak to us anymore.
Now, friend “C” is really cool, and I want to be closer friends with her. My problem with her is, I constantly ask her to hang out with me, but she is always too busy to hang out with me, but never too busy to hang out with her other friends. The weird part is that she gets upset when I hang out with other friends and will complain I never invite her anywhere. So it just reached a point where I started to think she simply doesn’t want to be good friends with me at all.
Friend “D” is too perfect to be relatable in any shape, way or form. She is very superficial, has her nice boyfriend and job and she travels a lot. I don’t feel like I relate to her so I can’t close the distance between us.
Friend “E” is very shy, closeted, and never goes out. Her parents never let her go out and she is very quiet. As much as I try to speak with her, we always run out of things to talk about and she won’t make an effort to talk at all either.
At the end of the day, I end up feeling lonely because I feel like I’m begging for a friendship. Which in turn makes me feel more depressed and I start to feel myself closing up and not wanting to do anything or talk to anybody. Can anyone relate? Am I being too butthurt? An asshole?